Temper Tantrum

Oh yesterday was thrusday and in my household that means grocery and errand day , translated to all day shopping ! I thought it was gonna be easy because my oldest son and my nephew are on spring break from school and could go and help me with the toddler ---
   He had an upset stomach and diarrhea si I don't think he was feeling well-- but he had to have a toy at EVERY store we went to and he was in full on pitch a fit mode to get it yesterday too. He would scream yell and made me feel like people were thinking OMG he is such a brat.. and they'd be right . I have not taught him very well about the word NO--  I want to see him happy and I love buying the little toys --- I look at him when he is sad and remember the pain of saying goodbye and hello to my daughter in the same day and tell myself that if she were here I wouldn't care what she wanted I would give it to her. So I tell myself that it's ok to give it to him , because well ya just never know--only I know logically that this isn't teaching him to learn to deal with things properly. I wish I could fix this ... I am going to work on it but I don't have much confidence in my ability to accomplish it !!!!!!
   I am upset all the time that he doesn't seem to be doing well on the potty training but I can't force him to because all the books say not to --yet if I bribe him with some reward he really wants he will go to the potty and tell me he has to go --- what am I doing wrong --is this hy god didn't want me to have a biological child because he knew that I wouldn't put his actual real best interest first ..
 


We are scheduled to take the classes to become foster parents this fall and I am starting to wonder if I am the right person for this-- If I can't do better than this with my own son how can I do this for other children. My oldest three boys who aren't my birth children I didn't do this -- When I as blessed to be their mommy ( full-time 24/7 ) from ages 1.2& 4 I made it a sense of pride to teach them toilet training and proper sleep habits , eating habits etc etc yet when it comes to my birth child I can't do it --what in the world does that say about me as a parent