what's wrong with me ?/

Ok I know this is going to make me sound like a horrible and insensitive person , and I guess apparently deep down inside I am, but I don't want to be. I have a neighbor who is sort of a friend, I mean we don't hang out or anything but we text every once in a while and we chat on facebook. She has been struggling with infertility because of PCOS for years and can't afford treatments. Well for the past two almost three years she and I have emailed about these struggles. And she went through the process of becoming a foster parent and was approved.Well today she posted that Friday she is getting a newborn baby boy as soon as he is discharged from the hospital. And I had to pretend to be extremely happy for her. I am but I was also jealous. I should still be pregnant and on bedrest getting ready for my newborn. PLUS I have my son who is three and is my biological child. How can I be such a selfish and uncaring person ??? I feel so bad about the way I am feeling right now. I admit I used to daydream about bringing home a baby from the hospital and it being my forever child , and their may be a chance that this will be her son, or that she will have to take him back to someone at some point... so what kind of person does this make me ? No wonder I don't have many close friends--I am probably not great person to person friend material --I prayed to find the answer to this dilemma