Even though my son is now three years old I still feel like I am an infertility victim ? I know millions of women will smirk at me for that statement. I recently ( yesterday) found myself taking an ovulation test again just to see, and when it was negative I gave myself the old pep talk of oh well it will happen -- I keep telling myself that I am happy to have the miracle of pregnancy with Aiden...but then I wonder am I really satisfied ? And if not why not -- I used to say just one time I wanted to feel the miracle of pregnancy and I would be complete.....and after the unexpected pregnancy in January and then the miscarriage just a few days later, I find myself yet once again on the trying to conceive roller coaster ...and here I am right back to the old feelings of inadequacy and defeat. I refuse to let this control me again, and I am gonna do my best to be thankful for the blessings that I already have and hope for the best. I will pay attention to my cycle and try but not let it control me this time.