Busy Busy

   We have all been very busy getting things cleaned, organized and repaired before out home study in a few weeks. Paul & Austin are painting the living room tonight to cover up all the marks Aiden made through the years and the scuff marks and stains from all the spilled foods and drinks. It looks so fresh and clean. But it's also sad to see the memories just gone of his tiny hands and the adorable messy things he made.   I know it's crazy and I am so happy that it looks better . I hope that all this isn't for nothing. But of course if it doesn't work out at least the house will look better . I am positive that we won't pass the very first home study and that we will have a list of things we have to do and fix. My biggests fear is that they're going to come in and decide the home isn't decent enough for any child and then take my child away from ME .. Yes I know that's a crazy paranoid way to think ,but it's the things that go through my head 

   Been having some major pain in my stomach the past few days, I a worried about it and thought about going to the emergency room but I made an appointment with the OB or a follow up from the D&E and miscarriage. So I am going to try my best to wait until then and maybe even this will get better and I will realize that it is normal and nothing to be such a sissy about . Plus I also got my results from the bloodwork the cardiologist did. And man oh man my cholesterol is crazy high , so I know that he isn't going to be happy that I stopped taking the medicine when I was pregnant and never started it back. I don't really want to either but it looks as if that is the one medicine I really need to take . Unless I don't want to prolong my life on earth . Plus one of the results seemed a little high for kidney damage and I want to ask him about that one too